Arranged Marriage
Experiences, questions and challenges around arranged marriage.
He earns less than me, will it become a problem later?
29F here. Met a guy twice, genuinely nice, we click on most things. Only thing is I earn roughly double what he does. Right now neither of us cares. But I keep hearing from aunties that it "never works", that the guy ego kicks in after a few yrs. Anyone actually living this? Di...
LDR right after marriage, can it actually work?
Both of us liked each other, families are on board. Catch is he is in Blr, I am in Delhi, and neither job can move for at least a year. So basically we would be married but living apart, meeting once a month maybe. Parents say "beta adjust ho jayega". Easy for them to say. Has ...
Girl seemed perfect, then blocked me after families talked money
We clicked over 3 weeks of chatting. Then the families had the money talk, my side couldnt match some expectation, and she went silent. Blocked me two days later. No message, nothing. The same person who texted good morning daily. I am more confused than hurt. Was it ever real ...
30F, tired of being told my standards are too high
I want a partner who reads a little, treats staff well, and can hold a real conversation. Apparently this makes me picky and unrealistic at 30. Every relative has a lecture about compromising before it is too late. Nobody gives my brother the same speech. Are these actually hig...
32F divorcee, are my chances in AM really that bad?
Divorced 2 yrs ago, no kids, short marriage that went wrong fast. Financially independent, own place, good job. Started looking again and the proposals are either way older guys or men who treat "divorcee" like a discount tag. One literally asked why I should expect the same as ...
She wants me to move cities for her job. Am I wrong to hesitate?
Met a girl twice, we genuinely get along. Her career is in Hyd and she is clear she wont move. Mine is set in Pune with my aging parents here. She asked if I would relocate. I said I need to think and she went a bit cold. I am not against it in theory but leaving my parents alo...
Guy is divorced with a kid. Family says no, I think he is genuine
29F. Met a guy, divorced, has a 4 yr old with shared custody. He was upfront about all of it from day one, which I respect a lot. He is mature, stable, kind, and honestly the best conversation I have had in this whole process. My family hears divorced plus kid and shuts down in...
26F, parents rushing me because my younger sister got a proposal
A really good proposal came for my younger sister. Now my parents are panicking that she will marry before me and it will look bad. Suddenly I am being shown 5 profiles a day and told to hurry. I am not against marriage but I dont want to pick someone in a rush just to beat my o...
Dowry was hinted at from her side. How do I handle this?
Plot twist, it is the GIRLS side hinting at expectations, a fully furnished flat and a car before the wedding. Phrased as blessings for the couple of course. My family is quiet about it but uncomfortable. I am dead against the whole thing on principle. How do I shut this down w...
He keeps saying wife should adjust. Small word, big worry
Talking to a guy for 2 weeks. Nice on most things, but he keeps dropping the word adjust. Adjust with my parents, adjust the job timings, adjust the cooking. Never once has he said we will figure it out together. Always me adjusting. Is this a language thing I am reading too mu...
We matched on everything but he smokes and hides it. Dealbreaker?
Everything else fits, values, family, humour, plans. Then I found out he smokes, which he had flat out denied twice when asked. It is not even the smoking that gets me most, it is that he lied about it so easily to my face. If he hid this small thing so smoothly, what else gets...
His family wants a grand wedding we cant afford. Pressure is insane
Guy and I are on the same page, keep it simple. His parents want 600 guests, destination, the works. My parents are stretching loans just to not look small. I hate that our marriage is starting with debt and ego. Guy says he will handle his parents but nothing changes. How do c...
Rejected over kundli mismatch after 3 meetings, gutted
We met 3 times. It was going really well, both families happy, we had even casually talked about dates. Then their pandit said the horoscopes dont match and suddenly everything is off. No discussion, no nothing. I am not even that into all this but it stings that months of talk...
How much do looks and salary actually matter in AM?
I am 31F, decent job, moved to Pune last yr for work. I am on the heavier side and I earn a bit more than most guys my family brings. Half the time they stop replying after seeing my salary, other half it is the photos. My dad is not around and my mom is not well, so I am mostl...
28M, parents rejecting every girl over caste, I am done
I have met 3 girls in the last 6 months that I actually liked. All 3 got shot down by my parents, same reason every time, caste. I dont care about it. They treat it like a dealbreaker above everything, education, nature, values, all of it. I am at the point where I am thinking ...
27M, girl asked my exact salary and savings on the first call
Had my first call with a prospect yest. Within 5 mins she asked my in hand salary, savings, and whether I have a home loan. I get wanting a stable guy but it felt like a loan interview, not a conversation. We never even talked about what we like or want in life. Am I being too ...
Horoscope says I am manglik. Suddenly everyone is backing out
28F. Two good matches in a row backed out the moment the kundli said manglik. Both were going really well before that. I dont fully believe in it but it is now the headline of my profile apparently. Relatives are already whispering about remedies and fasts. Has anyone dealt wit...
33M, every girl rejects me for being short. Losing hope
Good job, own house, no bad habits. 5 foot 4. That last line seems to cancel the rest every single time. Rejected again this week, the only feedback passed on was height. I cant change it and I am tired of it being the whole story. Is height really this big a filter for most wo...
Guys, how do you bring up that you dont want a joint family?
I love my parents but I want to start married life in my own place, not the family home. I know the moment I say it, I will be called selfish and modern. How do you raise this with the girl AND with your own parents without it turning into a war? Timing, wording, anything that w...
In-laws want us to delay kids for 5 yrs. Is that normal to ask?
Before the engagement is even final, her parents said they expect us to wait 5 yrs before kids so she can focus on her career abroad. I am fine delaying a couple yrs, but 5 feels like a term in a contract set by them, not us. Also it is our call, not theirs. Is it normal for th...