14
Arranged Marriage
26F, parents rushing me because my younger sister got a proposal
A really good proposal came for my younger sister. Now my parents are panicking that she will marry before me and it will look bad.
Suddenly I am being shown 5 profiles a day and told to hurry. I am not against marriage but I dont want to pick someone in a rush just to beat my own sister to it.
How do I get them to let her go ahead without me feeling like a failure? This log kya kahenge is exhausting.
14
Comments
My elder sister married after me. Zero problems, everyone forgot within a month. The fear is always bigger than reality.
Let your sister marry first. An older sibling unmarried is not a scandal, it is just an old mindset. Dont rush for optics.
Keep meeting at a sane pace. Quality one match beats five rushed ones. Your life, your clock, not the neighbours.
Picking a husband to beat your sister to the mandap is how people end up miserable at 28. Please dont let them do this.
You are not a failure for not being first. You would be failing yourself by marrying a stranger in a hurry though.
5 profiles a day is panic, not a process. Ask them to slow down to one serious conversation at a time.
Hang in there. The sister thing feels huge now, in two yrs nobody will remember the order you married in.
Decouple the two in your parents heads. Her proposal is her timeline, yours is yours. They are not in a race.
Tell your parents plainly, I will marry when I find the right person, not before my sister and not on a deadline.
As a guy I will say, we can tell when a girl is rushing to keep up appearances. It shows and it attracts the wrong men.