11
Arranged Marriage
30F, tired of being told my standards are too high
I want a partner who reads a little, treats staff well, and can hold a real conversation. Apparently this makes me picky and unrealistic at 30.
Every relative has a lecture about compromising before it is too late. Nobody gives my brother the same speech.
Are these actually high standards or just basic? Starting to doubt myself and I hate that. Tell me straight.
11
Comments
Keep the bar. Lowering it to be realistic is how good women end up with men who treat them as a chore. Not worth it.
As a guy, a woman who wants a man that reads and is decent to waiters is not picky, she is paying attention. Hold the line.
Dont shrink your list to end the lectures. You will hear the relatives for a month, you live with the husband for life.
Those are character traits, not a wishlist of 6 foot rich perfection. Anyone calling that unrealistic is the problem.
The fact your brother gets no such lecture tells you this is about controlling women, not about realistic standards.
Guy here, married a woman with standards. It made me a better man, not a rejected one. Good men rise to a good bar.
I got the same speech at 30, held firm, married at 32 to exactly the kind of man they said did not exist. They do.
Reads well, treats staff kindly, can converse. Those are not high standards, those are the floor. Dont lower them.
Basic decency reading a comfort with conversation. If that is too high, the issue is the market, not your bar.
Compromise before it is too late is just fear talking. Settling early is how people end up quietly miserable at 40.