11
Arranged Marriage
27M, girl asked my exact salary and savings on the first call
Had my first call with a prospect yest. Within 5 mins she asked my in hand salary, savings, and whether I have a home loan.
I get wanting a stable guy but it felt like a loan interview, not a conversation. We never even talked about what we like or want in life.
Am I being too sensitive? Is this just how it works now and I should answer and move on, or is it fair to feel put off?
11
Comments
Flip it, ask her the same and see if she gets uncomfortable. If a fair question for you is rude for her, red flag.
Not too sensitive. A number first convo tells you exactly what she is optimising for. Good data, bad feeling, both true.
Stability is fair to ask, but opening with savings and home loan is a vibe check you already failed on her behalf.
Give it one more conversation about actual life stuff. If she cant do that, you have your answer cleanly.
As a woman I will say it, that is rude and transactional. Finances matter but there is a time and a tone for it.
There is a difference between financially aware and financially only. First call sounded like the second one.
Honestly half of us got burned skipping this convo. But 5 mins in with no hello is just bad manners, not diligence.
Money talk belongs in the process, just not as the opening line before she knows your name properly. You are fine.
Some families coach the girl to ask this first. Might be her parents script, not her. Worth one more chat to find out.
Been there, answered like a salary slip, married the spreadsheet energy, regretted it. Trust the put off feeling.
Answer in ranges, not exact figures, and watch if she respects that. Her reaction will tell you more than the numbers.