Are we getting to know people, or just evaluating them?

Something I have been thinking about lately is how quickly getting to know someone has turned into deciding whether they qualify. Within a few conversations, we are looking for compatibility, emotional maturity, career stability, attraction, communication style, family background, future plans and a dozen other things. All of these matter. But somewhere between checking for red flags and searching for green ones, I wonder if we have forgotten to simply be curious about another person. People rarely reveal their best parts in three conversations. Some people are awkward initially. Some take time to trust. Some are terrible at texting but wonderful listeners. Some have complicated pasts but have done the work to grow from them. Of course, nobody should ignore incompatibility or lower their standards just to make something work. Knowing what you want is healthy. But there is a difference between having standards and expecting certainty before a connection has even had the chance to breathe. Maybe not every conversation needs to immediately answer, "Could I marry this person?" Sometimes the better question is simply, "Do I enjoy knowing this person a little more than I did yesterday?" Relationships eventually require serious conversations, difficult decisions and practical compatibility. But before all of that, there has to be two human beings who are actually interested in discovering each other. Maybe we would find better connections if we spent slightly less time interviewing people for a role in our lives, and a little more time meeting the person who is actually sitting in front of us.